right now, someone is falling in love. someone is having their first kiss and getting the butterflies in their stomach. someone is holding their newborn baby. someone’s having a birthday. someone is laughing so hard their stomach hurts. someone is having a really good dream. someone is falling asleep thinking about someone they love. someone is dancing. someone is getting proposed to. someone is happy.
and I’m here eating a bad sandwich scrolling through tumblr
MY MOM JUST ASKED ME WHAT I WANT MY CAKE TO BE FOR MY SPIDER-MAN THEMED BIRTHDAY PARTY AND I TOLD HER I WANT IT TO BE IN THE SHAPE OF ANDREW GARFIELD’S BUTT AND SHE WAS LIKE “SEND ME SOME PHOTOS I’LL SEE WHAT I CAN DO” OH MY GOD
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME
'Scuse me, but may I have a piece of that ass?Do you know how many times I made that joke at my party
|me:||do ur homework|
Okay, so in Science class yesterday we were talking about sleep cycles and melatonin and my science teacher said, “if you’re trying to sleep, avoid one colour. Blue. Your melatonin levels decrease when looking at the colour blue because it’s the colour of the sky.” GUYS, I KNOW WHY NONE OF US SLEEP. TUMBLR IS BLUE.
THE JIG IS UP, YOU SNEAKY BASTARDS. WE’RE ONTO YOU.
"Those poor boys"
"She deserves to be punished too."
"I’m not saying I support rape, but-"
"Sorry to say - she deserved it."
"She put herself in harm’s way"
"But if she was fingered, then that’s not rape."
"She ruined their lives."